It is almost a whole damn year, 365 days that my ex left me.
And for those that have followed me, you may have read from time to time about it.
And yes, I am still sad about it at times. Heartbroken a bit. I feel denial all over again. Sigh. And I have been crying a lot more recently. Maybe because before the year wraps up, it has also been a year since something that I hold so dear in my heart happened.
So last April, my ex went to pick up his mom and her bf from the airport very late at night. I went to sleep in the sofa bed and never “woke” up when they arrived. All I remember is hearing them arrive, go to bed and my ex snuggling next to me. He spoons me and I felt him gently move my hair from my face and leaned over and kissed me on my cheek and said, “Te amo güerita,” what he always called me.
I pretended to keep sleeping but have never forgotten that sweet moment. Only because nothing like that had happened in a long time.
We had so many problems but I kept telling him over and over that I believed so much that we would overcome then. But he gave up. Entirely. Without telling me. Notifying me. Just up and left while I was at work.
So it has been quite a painful year, personally because I have never tried so hard with anyone else before him. I have never given so much love, time, care to anyone else. Never, ever. And you know what? It was so nice. While we were fine, it was splendid. He was a best friend. Great company. A ball.
But then he wasn’t in this relationship anymore and it definitely fell apart.
So when he kissed me that night, it was the first time in a long time that he did it. On his own. With honesty.
And that moment, will always stay very close to my heart.